Self-talk, according to the Merriam Webster dictionary, is

“the talk or thoughts directed at oneself.”

“Self-talk.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/self-talk. Accessed 9 Sep. 2023.

Negative self-talk is one of the top reasons why you are not making the progress you are wanting and needing to make in English. I would say it competes for the number one position with the problem of surrounding yourself with your first language.

Let’s do a little experiment.

When you make a mistake, like for example using a vocabulary word incorrectly, or saying the wrong thing in public and everyone notices your mistake – what does your self-talk sound like?

In other words, what do you tell yourself about yourself when you make a mistake? And in our case here, what do you tell yourself about yourself when you make a mistake in English?

Here’s another question: Imagine that you have been studying for the CELPIP exam for a few months and you’re finally ready to take the exam. On your exam day, you are so nervous that you completely freeze during the speaking section of the exam and this ends up pulling your entire score down so you don’t get enough points for your immigration process.

What will your self-talk be like?

“Your thoughts are a personal soundtrack for your life.” – Jon Acuff.

Self-Talk Is Often Negative.

For some reason our self-talk tends to be negative much of the time, or it at least can very easily swing in that direction.

Negative self-talk, if left to itself, will cause a great deal of harm to you and to your English development.

Consider the damage:

1. Loss of Confidence: making mistakes usually don’t leave you feeling good. But when you make mistakes in front of others, you’ll likely face the terrible feeling of being embarrassed. As your cheeks flush red when you realize you’ve said the wrong thing or sounded totally stupid in front of other people, some other things you might not be aware of begin to happen: your self-talk spins into high gear. “I’ll never speak in front of them again…” or “I’m so stupid! I’ll never get this right!” “No matter what I try, I can’t speak English properly – I might as well give up.”
2. You Avoid Taking Risks: Self-talk can serve a good purpose in that it tells us, and reminds us, that the last time we did X thing, the result wasn’t very good. We should avoid doing that X thing again. Self-preservation. Unfortunately, you won’t become a stronger English speaker if you are only listening to that voice of self-preservation! You need to take risks to grow, and you also need to make mistakes!
3. You’ll Remain Small: Negative self-talk drags you down, it doesn’t pump you up. If you listen to it long enough, you’ll have a very hard time achieving your goals. You’ll also have a hard time moving forward in your life because you don’t want to get hurt, or you actually believe what your negative self-talk is saying. If your negative self-talk gets its way, it will have you believing that you’re too stupid or slow to become a fluent English speaker. Stop now. Forget about your dream of moving to Canada or some other English speaking country. That dream simply isn’t for you.

That’s a few of the damaging results of negative self-talk.

What to do about it:

Realize that you DO have self-talk. We all do. Nobody is immune to it.

Realize that you can challenge your self-talk.

Realize that you can – and should – change what you think and say about yourself! (Nobody will do it for you.)

How To Get Started:

Talk back! When you notice negative self-talk happening, stop it in its tracks. I often will say something like, “Stop! That’s enough.” Or “Nope.”

Use your imagination: I’m a massive Star Wars geek. I love lightsabers and X-wings, and frequently imagine myself chopping that negative self-talk into bits and pieces with a lightsaber. For me, this works wonders. (I bet you think I’m weird, but hey…it works for me!)

What can you imagine that will help you destroy your negative thoughts?

Replace it. “I’m never going to try speaking in English in front of people again.” Change that to, “Man, that was embarrassing – but embarrassment means I’m taking risks. Embarrassment means I’m growing my English. Never feeling embarrassed means I’m not trying enough!”

Remember: Your negative self-talk can and should be challenged. You need to be the one who does it! Stopping and changing your negative self-talk to positive self messaging will help you continue to grow and develop your English skills.