How to improve your self-confidence using English and preparing for the CELPIP

How do I build my confidence? I've talked about this in various ways on this podcast before, but you know something? The topic keeps popping up because it's a hot one.

Building confidence is vital to stronger fluency skills and as a result better CELPIP scores.

Poor self confidence leads to the opposite flatlining fluency skills because you're too afraid to use your English and as a result your skills don't have a chance to improve. And that of course leads to lower CELPIP results.

In one study I read to prepare for this episode, the author pointed to a study that was conducted of 289 university students which found a whopping 70% of them struggled with low self confidence around their English skills.

While 289 students is not a large number to work with, my bet, based on my own personal experiences over the past 17 years in both learning a second language and teaching English, is that that stat is pretty accurate across the board. Most people that I've dealt with and myself included have or is struggling with confidence issues when it comes to using their second language.

In our case, that's English.

When it comes to building your fluency skills in English, a growing self confidence is what will propel you forward, while the lack of it is what is going to be keeping you stuck. Self confidence is that important. Maybe it even feels like your biggest challenge right now.

And if that's the case, like you're nodding your head right now as I'm talking about this, that you struggle with feeling confident about your ability to use English effectively and that lack of confidence affects you so much that you struggle to actually use the English you have, then this episode is for you my friend. Today we're going to take a deep dive into confidence.

How the lack of it is hurting you and more importantly, we're going to dig into research based ways that will help you do something about it. Because I'm convinced that increased self confidence leads to stronger fluency skills and stronger fluency skills will lead to growing confidence.

Foreign hi, I'm Aaron. Welcome to the Speak English Fearlessly podcast.

This is the podcast where motivated English learners just like you learn to speak English fearlessly and learn practical tips and strategies to conquer the CELPIP exam. Alright, so first of all, let's figure out what confidence is to begin with.

According to Psychology Today, confidence, and I quote, is the belief in yourself, the conviction that one has the ability to meet life's challenges and to succeed, and the willingness to act accordingly. End quote. And I'm going to link to that Quote in my show notes today.

Okay, so according to that quote, confidence has something to do with how I feel about my own ability to create a positive impact in my life.

Using that definition, when it comes to the challenge of learning English or preparing for the CELPIP exam, I think confidence would mean that you believe you can change and improve your current level of English by the activities you engage in. Believing that this is true is a kind of confidence. So take a pause for a moment.

Think about your current situation with English and with your CELPIP preparation. Do you think you are able to have an impact on your skills by taking action?

Or do you think you're stuck and no matter what you do, you can't seem to take a step in the right direction? Feeling more stuck than moving forward with your English right now? Well, look closely at this next point. It might just be what's missing. Dr.

Christy Glass, a sociologist at Utah State University, suggests that confidence has to do with one's inner perception of his or her ability to fulfill a particular job or role in society. Dr. Glass also says that much if not most of self confidence is influenced by the world around us.

This includes our crazy families, supportive friends and and employers. So according to Dr. Glass, confidence seems to be a product of the way we think about our abilities to accomplish things.

And that way of thinking can be strongly influenced by the people we surround ourselves with. Our way of thinking about ourselves influences our self confidence, but so do the people we surround ourselves with.

The way people in our lives talk to us and treat us in relation to our use of English, for example, can either boost or tear down our confidence in ourselves. You likely have first hand experience with this, don't you?

Maybe you know what it feels like to have someone criticize your accent or that grammar mistake you made. Or maybe you know what it's like to feel absolutely invisible and a crowded room because you don't speak English as well as everyone else.

Or at least you think that you don't speak English as well as everyone else. So no one seems to try to talk with you.

I'm sure you've had negative experiences with the people around you that was related to your use of English and that you know firsthand how powerfully those times can pull you down and keep you down.

And conversely, I hope you know what it's like to have someone, or even people who are genuinely in your corner, who are always ready to encourage you as you try something new with your English, or who are happy and patient to help you finally learn how to pronounce a difficult word and then take their time to actually hear what you had to say and then talked with you about it like you were a real person. Those positive and negative experiences are powerful, aren't they? Powerful to boost us up and powerful to tear us down. For good or bad.

The people around us carry powerful influence over our self confidence. So take this important bit of advice from psychologist Dr. Susanne Roff.

Surround yourself, and I quote here, surround yourself with supportive people in whom you can confide and who will offer honest, respectful feedback. Isolation does not breed confidence. I'm going to say that again.

Surround yourself with supportive people in whom you can confide and who will offer honest, respectful feedback. Isolation does not breed confidence. I love the last line of that quote. Isolation does not breed confidence.

We need other people, encouragers and supporters in our lives in order for our confidence to improve. And we also need people in our lives to practice our English skills with, don't we?

That whole isolation bit is also pretty true when it comes to developing your fluency skills, right? Just like isolation does not breed confidence, being isolated does not breed fluency skills. In English.

You need to be in contact with other people in order for you to improve.

So if you've found yourself struggling with your English skills lately, but more importantly with your self confidence to use the English skills you have, how about if you take a few minutes today and have a careful look around you? Who do you have in your corner? Who do you have that cheers you on as you try to build your skills in English?

And who do you have near you that offers you encouraging support when you've made that embarrassing mistake with your English? Or just feel like you can't take another day of this? And who do you have around you who cares as much or even more about their English skills as you?

If you don't have anyone, I hope you lean into looking for them.

The right people in our lives can help us take big steps forward, and they can help us keep taking those steps forward even when we feel ready to give up.

Conversely, unfortunately, if you notice that you are surrounded by people who constantly criticize you and your English, or maybe who simply have decided to give up trying to work on their English skills and their lack of motivation or caring is starting to rub off on you, then maybe it's time to consider being more intentional about who you surround yourself with. Remember, the people we surround ourselves with influence us positively and negatively.

Which way are you being drawn by the people around you today and what will you do about it if you don't like where they seem to be drawing you.

I found this quote from Liza Donnelly, who is a widely published cartoonist with the New Yorker magazine, and if you have no idea who she is, don't worry, I don't either. But I do know the New Yorker. I know that magazine. It's a big deal. She says this about confidence and I quote, don't wait to be chosen.

Sure, it's hard, but you've got to put yourself out there. Being a wallflower won't win you any medals.

Amping up your own voice, on the other hand, not only makes your colleagues aware of your capabilities, but it feels darn good. I think the idea here is loud and clear. Self confidence doesn't grow passively. You make it grow by taking action.

In our case, using your English skills. No matter how small and insignificant your skills might feel to you, use them.

The more you use your English, the more your fluency skills will grow and with it your self confidence. Research shows that when it comes to learning a second language, confidence and fluency skills in English grow together with use.

In other words, if you want stronger speaking skills, look for ways to practice speaking more. The more you speak in English, the more your confidence will grow too.

And the more your self confidence grows, the more you'll be willing to take risks with your speaking skills.

Like a virtuous circle, one breathes life into the other let's circle back to that study I referenced way back at the beginning of this episode that pointed out that of 289 university students learning English, 70% of them said that they struggled with their self confidence, which negatively impacted the way they were able to use their English skills.

To begin solving this big challenge, the author of the study, who was also their teacher, began giving those same students more opportunities to practice their English skills together. More, not less. And what he and his students discovered was simply Number one.

At the beginning, students stated that they were not improving in confidence or their language skills because they were too afraid to even use the skills they had, and that fear kept them frozen in place. Number two, the teacher, author of the study, began giving students more speaking practice, which included cooperative speaking tasks.

They worked together, not in isolation, on their English. 3. Over the course of their study, students kept a reflective journal where they recorded their progress with their English at least two times a week.

At the beginning, most students felt negatively about both their confidence and their English skills. But as the study and their work together progressed, something interesting began to happen.

More speaking, more interaction, and, well, you guessed it, students began to Notice their self confidence beginning to grow too. Speaking and collaborating with others leads to improvement in both areas.

And finally, number four, the author of the study linked to previous research on the topic of confidence and English fluency, which boldly points out that the first step to increasing confidence in language learning is to actually speak more. One leads to the other. Are you picking up the message here? Confidence and speaking skills grow when you actually use what you have.

And I'm going to be linking to that study in my show notes today if you want to check it out. All right. Do you remember that quote I shared from the cartoonist Liza Donnelly? That's okay, I'm going to repeat it again.

She said this and I quote don't wait to be chosen. Sure, it's hard, but you've got to put yourself out there. Being a wallflower won't win you any medals.

Amping up your voice, on the other hand, not only makes your colleagues aware of your capabilities, but it feels darn good.

In Liza's case, putting herself out there meant sharing her drawings, her cartoons and the ideas they represented with the audience, the vast audience of the New Yorker magazine. For you and your English skills, the idea is similar. Putting yourself out there means not waiting for someone to involve you in a conversation.

Instead, you go out and find ways to join them and actually contribute your ideas, even if it's just one. As you do this, over time, both your confidence and your English skills will improve. And this is the secret sauce of it all.

I've got another quote for you here. It is simply the best way to gain confidence is time and experience.

I found this little quote from an online message board for nurses who were struggling with their self confidence to perform their duties. How's that for something interesting? Nurses struggling with self confidence.

They had all finished nursing school and were practicing nurses now, but the newer ones were wondering if they had what it took to succeed. That's where that quote came in from a nurse way farther along on the journey. She wrote them and said, confidence comes through time and experience.

In other words, putting in the reps. I've shared many times about my start in the podcasting. It sucked. It easily took me a month or more to actually record my very first episode.

And weeks of hiding in my car, too embarrassed to record in my office or home. I hated how I sounded. I messed up a billion times every time I hit record. My English felt like it got garbled up and even forgotten at times.

And worst of all, I felt zero confidence, even though I had been an English teacher At that point, for over 16 years, I still struggled with this silly idea. Who will even want to listen to me? That lack of confidence made me hit stop on the record button so many times I lost count.

And even after I finally published my first few episodes, that lack of confidence kept at it even after a month or so of publishing. I remember coming home one day after work in a kind of funk about how slow things seemed to be going with the podcast.

I remember telling my wife, maybe I'll just give up. What if I'm just wasting my time and nobody ever listens? Thankfully, she convinced me to continue.

Thankfully, I found other way more experienced people in the world of podcasting to listen to and learn from and learn. I did.

One big lesson that I picked up from one of my favorite podcasts, which was the one that actually got me into podcasting in the first place, is called the School of Podcasting with Dave Jackson. He's been a podcaster since podcasting was even possible.

He has published multiple episodes around how long it takes the average podcast to grow and find a solid audience. You want to know the answer? At least three years. Maybe even more. Believe it or not, that stat gave me such great hope and encouragement.

Here I was wondering if I should give up. After only a month or two of work, it was way too early to give myself and the podcast a chance. I had to put way more reps in. Way more reps in.

And remember that nurses quote I shared with you a few minutes ago? Simply the best way to gain confidence is time and experience. Well, I think that's so true. This is episode 113 of my podcast.

That's 113 weeks straight. No stopping. That's two plus years of reps. Here's what I can tell you after 113 weeks of podcasting.

Number one, I still have days where I wonder if I should give up. Thankfully, those days come way less frequently. And now I know how to shut that voice up.

I remind myself that this is a long term game, not an instant one. And by the way, when it comes to learning English, you should be telling yourself the same thing. Fluency development is also a long term game.

So keep putting the reps in. I know my confidence has grown a lot. I can and have recorded my podcast with someone in the same room with me.

Now I don't love doing it that way, but I've done it before. I couldn't even bring myself to record in my own house. I felt so embarrassed.

Today I've only recorded episodes in my car when I absolutely have to, which has now been like just three times over the past 113 episodes. I'm now very comfortable recording in my room. And by the way, you'll experience the same thing as you put more reps in with your English.

Right now you might feel shy and embarrassed to use your skills in front of or with others, but the more you do it, the easier it will become. Number three, I actually enjoy podcasting and look forward to putting out each and every episode. 113 reps have turned this into a passion of mine.

I love podcasting. In fact, my excitement for it has even given me opportunities to spearhead company wide podcasting projects at my workplace.

Confidence spills out into other areas of your life.

And finally, number four, if I were to listen to my first few episodes and compare them to my last few that I've done, I know I can hear a difference. My podcasting fluency has gotten much stronger the more I use and practice it. At least I think it has.

And you know exactly what I'll say here, don't you?

If you keep putting your reps in with your English practice, you too will be able to start noticing a difference with your fluency and confidence than when you first began. Remember, confidence and fluency in English go hand in hand. When one starts to improve, so does the other.

Now, in sharing all this stuff about my podcasting journey, I'm not trying to prop myself up. My intention is to show you how these ideas are playing out in my own life.

I'm working hard to build my confidence too, but just in different areas than you. I'm also sharing these ideas with you because I know they work.

Over my 17 years teaching, I've never met a single student who hasn't seen confidence and fluency increase with practice. Not one. Now, some have taken much longer than others to develop, that's for sure.

But growth does happen, and it's not because of me, but because of their willingness and determination to put in the work. Okay, today we've covered a lot of ideas, so I want to leave you with the key points.

Number one, confidence and English fluency work together and get stronger together. If you need to develop your self confidence and speaking skills, lean into practicing more often. Are you putting in the reps?

And if so, have you been consistently putting in the reps long enough to see the results? Like growing a business or a podcast audience, it takes years of patient, consistent work to see the results you're looking for.

So don't give up too soon. Number two, who is influencing you right now.

Remember to actively seek to surround yourself with people who encourage and praise you when you are trying to use your English skills. The people in your life influences you. Are they influencing you in the right direction? And finally, number three, put yourself out there more.

Don't, don't wait to be chosen. As Liza Donnelly points out, using your English is the best way to become more confident in your abilities and to become a stronger English speaker.

At the same time. They go hand in hand. Okay, that was a long episode, wasn't it?

I hope that you found something in here that was useful for you and encouraging for you as you are working towards building your fluency skills in English and increasing your self confidence. Remember, they really do go hand in hand. When one increases, so will the other. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode.

I hope that you'll come back again next Tuesday for the next edition. Have a fantastic week and we'll see you soon. Bye Bye.