Build Your English Skills for the CELPIP: Small Talk Secrets for Introverts

You know, one of the most frequent topics that I think I talk about on this podcast has to do with increasing the frequency of your practice sessions and not worrying so much about how long you are spending in those practice sessions, but looking for ways to increase the number of times you are using your English on a day by day basis. And, and the reason why I like to talk about this topic is, well, two reasons.

Number one, a lot of people, maybe even you, are wondering how can I improve my English skills so that I can get the scores that I need on the CELPIP exam?

That's like one of the top things that I hear people asking me about and it's one of the most talked about things that I see online, like in message groups or message groups that, like in online forums or on YouTube videos or in Reddit threads. People are always wondering how they can increase or build their speaking skills in English.

And another thing that they are always talking about is feeling a lack of confidence. Like they feel scared, they feel nervous, they get all tongue tied.

When it comes to that moment on the examination where the clock starts ticking and you have to start talking, or in real life, in everyday conversations, that moment that happens where the people around you fall silent and it's your turn to contribute to whatever it is that's going on in the conversation around you, you struggle with that, especially if you're an introvert like me. Those moments can be pure terror, right? They can fill our hearts with so much fe, with so much like feelings of inadequacy.

Like, I don't know if even I have the language skills to do this. Maybe I'm never going to get the score that I need on the self of exam.

Or maybe I'm never going to be able to have a fluent conversation with someone in English where I actually feel good about the way I talked with them.

And well, my friend, if that has been what's on your mind, then I want to invite you into this episode because today we're going going to be talking about how you can lean into your personality as an introvert. I'm imagining that you are probably an introvert just like me.

And even if you're not an introvert and you still struggle with feeling a lack of confidence with your English, I think what I'm going to talk about today is going to be helpful for you, but specifically for my friend, for you.

If you are quiet, if you are an introvert and you know it, and you know that trying to use your English skills in front of other people is really tough. And. And when it comes time for the SELP of exam, you also find it super hard to do it because of your personality.

Well, today I'm going to talk about two things that I think, well, that I saw happening around me this week in the weeks prior to this week that I think, well, it's just stuck out to me as, wow, this is something that I wanted to share with you. And before I go any farther. Hello there, my name is Aaron. Welcome to the CELPIP Success Podcast.

If this is your first time listening in, I want to welcome you and say thank you for taking a moment to sit and listen.

This podcast is designed to help you build your skills for the SELPIP exam and also to help you to build your speaking skills in English, especially if you consider yourself an introvert. All right, so thank you for dropping in and if you're a regular listener, hello. Thank you so much for dropping by. I am so glad. Thank you.

You are here. Okay, so getting back to this topic, it's super important to increase the frequency, the number of times you use your English on a day by day basis.

It's not so much trying to have these long, drawn out conversations. That's not what I'm trying to get you to be doing because frankly, those are hard to do.

And actually what I'm inviting you to and challenging you to try to do might not be easy as well, especially at first.

But if you embrace this idea of increasing the number of little practice times that you engage in on a daily basis, you will see some dramatic improvements in both your fluency and in your self confidence. Because we. If you've been a listener to this podcast for any length of time, I'm sure you've heard me say it.

But the more you use your English, the more fluency you will have and the more confidence you will feel about your ability to use your English. It goes hand in hand. The more you use it, even if it's not perfect. Especially if it's not perfect.

The more you use it, the more, the more confident you will feel. So what do you do?

What are some things that you can do as an introvert to begin using your English more without trying to be someone that you're not like?

I know for introverts, the thought of trying to improve your fluency in English probably conjures up images in your mind of you having to be like the life of the party or you talking with dozens of people throughout the day, holding long conversations or making huge presentations at work. You have that in your head probably at least.

That's kind of like what I think of when I think of that I need to improve my conversation skills just in general, like in English. I have this idea in my head sometimes of having to lean into being someone that I'm not.

Like, I have to try to forget that I'm an introvert and try to pretend that I'm an extrovert, which feels terrible to me. And if you're an extrovert, hey, I'm not trying to insult you in any way.

You have great personality traits and skills and powers that make learning and using your English so much easier, my friend. And I hope that you're fully embracing those fearless or those people oriented skills to help you to build your English.

But, but for us introverts, that engaging with lots of different people being the focus of attention is like the worst thing. It's the worst thing for me anyway that that can come to mind. You know, I just don't like that.

And I don't think, I strongly don't think and I strongly believe that for us introverts to build our English skills, our language skills, it doesn't mean that we have to try to be someone that we're not. I fully believe that we are created to be introverts.

You, if that's who you are and if you're an extrovert, you were also created to be that extrovert person. But I'm just speaking to my introvert friends right now. But if, if that's what your personality is, it's not wrong, it's designed on purpose.

And you have just like those extroverts have superpowers that help them to use their language skills more effectively, us introverts have those secret superpowers as well. And it's just a matter of learning what they are and leaning into them.

And for me, what I found where I am the most effective, and I know I've shared this before, but maybe this will resonate with you too. But for me, I feel the most effective when I'm having small conversations with small groups of people.

Not even groups of people necessarily, but the smaller the setting, the better. Like if it's one on one, I love that. If it's just like two or three people. And me, I love that too. I don't enjoy large huge groups of people.

I don't enjoy going to big parties or things like that. I prefer the small one on ones or one on, you know, two or three people.

For me to feel comfortable as an introvert, and where I feel like I shine when it comes to my ability to speak both in English and in Spanish, which is my second language. You probably already know that if you've been listening to this podcast for a bit, and maybe that is true for you as well.

So if you're an introvert and you're looking for ways to build your English skills, lean into what makes you strong, in other words, probably that means you're really good at one on one conversations or in small group conversations and leaning into those things, those small settings, those small moments, are just as effective and just as powerful for your language growth as an extrovert's. Being the life of the party or engaging with lots of people in crowded rooms can be effective for them.

Like one is not better or more effective than the other. But what is more important is that frequency piece I was mentioning at the beginning. It's not about how long those conversations go.

It's about the number of times you jump into them during your day. Like those the number of times you can pull out your English and use it on a daily basis.

The more you can do it, like I said before, the more your fluency will grow and the more your confidence will grow as well. And I wanted to share with you two things that I think will will help you. The first one comes from where I work. Actually, I work with seniors.

One of my jobs is to visit with them on as often as I can. Like we. I often have times where I share coffee with them. And my job is just to visit. My job is to get to know them.

My job is to build relationships with them and help them as they're going through the different things that they're going through in their lives. And like I said a moment ago, I do that the best when it's small groups of people.

And about two weeks ago, I was sitting at this table of people with people, enjoying some coffee with them. And there was a seat next to me that was empty. And this dear old lady came up to me, who I know is an introvert as well.

She's super quiet when she speaks. Her voice is really quiet too. So you have to really pay attention to what she's saying, especially if it's in a noisy room.

And so she walks up to me with her empty coffee cup and asks quietly if she could sit down next to me. And of course I pulled out. I stood up because I noticed that her cup was empty.

I went and I grabbed the coffee pot, I came over, I filled up her coffee and I sat down with her. And she leaned over to me very shyly because she, like I said a moment ago, is super shy. She's very quiet.

And she asked me, hey, can I show you something? Now, for me in my role, that's like a golden question. Of course, of course you can show me something because that means she wants to talk.

So she pulled out her cell phone and she flipped it open, opened up her photo album on her phone, scrolled for a minute until she found the picture that she was looking for. And then with a smile on her face, she slid the phone over to me and I looked at it.

And in that picture there was a car dashboard with the number negative 27 on it. Negative 27. I looked at her and I said, that is cold. What's going on in this picture?

And she proceeded to share that her daughter was visiting friends and family way up in northern Canada where it's still quite cold and especially where it was minus 27 degrees. And she began to tell me all about her daughter and all about her family and that she herself was about to go to join her daughter for a visit.

And how excited she was to go and visit her daughter, but at the same time how nervous she was because minus 27, that's pretty cold.

But the cool thing in this whole conversation that I'm trying to share with you today is that this quiet 87 year old lady wasn't trying to hold a massive conversation with me. She was just wanting to tell one simple story. And she had a prop. We've talked about props before, haven't we?

For me, one of my favorite conversation props is my coffee mug. I've talked about that lots of times.

And if you've never tried to use a prop to help you when you're having a conversation, try with a coffee mug or try with a cup of water, or try with a thermos. You know, one of those thermoses of water that people sometimes have have.

The point is, have something in your hand when you're about to have a conversation with somebody. For me, that's my coffee mug, usually with coffee in it. And I like to hold it at chest level between me and the person that I'm that I'm talking to.

Only because it helps me to feel a little bit safer. It sounds weird. I know, I know it sounds weird, but try it. Try it. I dare you to.

And for this dear old lady who came to visit with me, her prop was her cell phone and the photo that she had on it, she used that picture as a jumping off point to tell me not just one story, but multiple stories about her family, about herself, about what it was like for her when she was young, growing up. She also lived up in the great far north of Canada, and that one little picture was what started our conversation off.

So that's my first offering for you today. If you find it hard to engage in conversations, I encourage you to bring something with you that would start that conversation off.

And it could be one of the pictures that you have on your cell phone. Pictures can be great conversation starters.

I encourage you to try doing it especially now that we're entering into warmer months where maybe you spend a little bit more time outside. Try taking a few pictures and then showing it to someone, a friend at work or, you know, a friend elsewhere.

Just pull out your phone and say, hey, this is how this quiet old lady started the conversation with me. Hey, can I show you something? Or hey, can I show you a picture I took?

I don't think anybody would say no to you, unless, of course, they're, you know, rushing to try to get somewhere.

But, you know, pick your conversation well so that you know that the person might have a good little bit of time that they could listen to your story. But use something like as simple as a picture to help you to engage in that conversation. And it doesn't have to be long.

My friend chose to go long because I think she. She grew in her.

Her self confidence as she began telling the story, and the fact that I was interacting with her and I was interested in what she had to say kind of helped the conversation along. But I think that that's a valuable lesson that this lady can teach us with our language skills.

Have something with you that you know something about, that you care about, that you're excited about, that you can use as a prop. A prop? Yeah, a prop. A prop. A prop. That's the word. A prop or, or a prompt even. So there's a difference. A prop, something that you can show someone.

A prompt, something that would get your ideas flowing. How's that? And I'm not going to delete that. I'm going to keep that in there so that you could see that I struggle with my English sometimes.

And I'm even an English native. A native English speaker. Okay, so that's point number one.

Bring something with you that you can talk about with whoever it is that is around you, be it a co worker or a friend or a family member. But do it in English. And remember, you don't have to go long.

It can be as simple as a two or three minute little explanation about what this thing is, where it happened, why it happened, why it's important to you, that kind of a thing. But give it a try and let me know how it goes. All right.

The second thing that I wanted to offer you is to think differently about the things that are happening all around you every single day. I keep.

As I was saying at the beginning, we need more frequency in our practices, and sometimes I think that we need to think differently about the opportunities that happen around us in English every single day.

Like, I think maybe you might miss a lot of great opportunities and a lot of opportunities that get started for you that you don't actually have to go through the fear of trying to start yourself. And I was thinking about this just this morning. Going to the grocery store, or going to any store for that matter.

Most of the time, the one who starts a conversation with you is the person working in the store, right? A lot of the times they'll ask you, can I help you find something? Are you looking for something special that I could help you with?

Or at the grocery store it might be, did you find everything that you were looking for today? That's a great opportunity to practice if you're willing to step into that moment.

And like I said a moment ago, that conversation has been started by somebody else. So the, the pressure is off of you a little bit. And all you need to do is engage with the answer to that question.

But maybe come prepared with an extra question of your own or a statement of your own that could extend the conversation a little bit louder, not louder, a little bit longer than just the usual, hey, is there something that I could help you find today? My normal answer or my most frequent answer is, no, thank you. I'm just looking. And then that's the end of the conversation.

But my encouragement or challenge for you would be to see if you can go one step deeper in that conversation with a stranger, with this person that's already starting the conversation with you. Today I had that opportunity. We, my son and I, were looking for a gift for my. For my wife. Because it's Mother's Day, we went into a certain store.

The lady came up to us to ask if we needed any help. And I knew what we wanted to get. I could have shut down the conversation by simply saying, no, it's okay, we know exactly what we're looking for.

But because I was thinking about what I was going to share with you today, I thought, I will put in an extra statement or an Extra question to see what would happen next if I extended the conversation a little bit. So instead of saying no thank you, I already know what we're looking for, I said, yes, actually, I think that you could help us.

We're looking for this or that thing and I won't say what it is, but I let them know what it is that we were looking for and if they could help us to find it. And they were very happy to help us find what we were looking for.

And then she asked a question back to us and we had a little mini conversation with her.

It didn't last long because she was busy, but the whole idea is, can you come up with either a statement or a question to a common question that you are asked a lot about in the environments around you where English is being used all the time that could maybe extend those little conversations one level more than what they normally do? Do you know what I mean? See if you can extend that talk by just one question more or one statement more. And.

And like that, you are building your conversation skills one little conversation at a time like that. You are also building your your confidence because you will realize that one hey, I did it. I didn't have to be in this massive long conversation.

It's probably not going to last for very long.

But the whole point is how can you do this more often and how can you use those opportunities, those tiny small that happen all around us all the time but we often miss because we're so focused on just the quick instant how can I get out of this conversation as fast as I can type of feelings instead think a little differently. How can I turn this little moment that has been started by somebody else?

How can I extend it just a little bit longer and use it to help me practice my English? And my friend, if you are looking for someone to practice with, I want to invite you to join the Celpip Success School.

It is the most introvert friendly place on the entire Internet to help you get ready for your Celpip exam. And if you don't believe me, I want to encourage you to reach out and give it a try.

And I will prove to you, my friend, that this is a safe space for you and working together. We can make this the last time that you have to think about that drastic about that terrible Celpip exam. Again.

If you'd like to join me inside the Celpip Success School, you totally can.

Just go to celpipsuccess.com listener that's celpipsuccess.com forward slash listener and I would love to work with you to help you build your confidence, speak English fearlessly, and get ready for your CELPIP exam. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode.

I hope that the ideas that I shared in here are helpful for you and that they inspire you to use your English skills more frequently. Have a great week and we'll be in touch soon. Bye Bye.